A heathen Easter

An Easter post the day after Easter! (Procrastination and I are old friends.) My family is not religious, even though I was raised Catholic, (direct quote from my father: "Happy zombie Jesus day! He died for your sins, now he's back for your braaaaaains!") so we had ourselves a merry secular Easter. True story: one year my mother-in-law put chocolate crosses in the kid's Easter baskets. Boy held it aloft and announced: "A chocolate T!" Jesus, who?

So every year I like to pretend that I'll plan ahead and fill the kid's Easter baskets with organic, fair trade earth friendly treats and toys from Whole Foods and local artisans or magical fairies I guess, because what actually happens is I make a mad dash to Target the Saturday before Easter and elbow the other slackers away from the jelly beans and plastic eggs. Shopping at Target on the weekend should be considered a contact sport. They should add it to the Olympic summer games.

Here is what people who actually have their shit together on a certain crunchy website put in their kid's Easter baskets:

-real grass grown from wheat berries
-hand knit stuffed bunnies
-felted eggs (handmade!)
-carved wooden animals (yep, you guessed it, handmade!)
-play silks (always with the play silks! My kids don't understand them?)
-lemon carrot cookies
-mixed nuts
-dried fruit

Notice the lack of candy. Notice the time and care put into them.

What was in my kid's Easter baskets:


And not the healthier type of candy either, oh no. The kind that will be sure to rot their teeth and give them ADD (That's how that works, right?) Jelly beans, lollipops, M&M's. Giant chocolate bunnies made of that funky tasting chalky stuff that leaves a weird taste in your mouth that can only be assuaged by eating a pack of Peeps (this is a scientific fact.)

Oh well. There's always next year, right? I'll totally plan ahead this time. We'll for sure go to church, too. In the meantime I'm going to take up whittling and bust out with some handmade toys that my kids will look at in confusion and then bury at the bottom of their toy boxes. That is if I can get them to stop playing Angry Birds for a minute.

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