1. Start dating in high school.
Oh, I know what you're thinking. Relationships need a foundation of maturity and life experiences. I say that is no match for the power of the angst and insecurity of being an awkward teenager.
|Ready for romance!|
2. Throw caution to the wind and have a child in your early twenties.
Nothing bonds you quite like sleepless nights, spit-up, diapers, and missing all the awesome parties your friends are throwing.
|This is way more fun than a kegger|
3. Be broke
This one is important. If you have financial security, how will you ever know the joy of buying a weeks worth of groceries with a mere twenty-seven dollars and thirty-two cents?
|We have $7.17 and three buttons|
4. Have a low-key engagement
And by that I mean have the following conversation:
Me: Wanna get married?
5. Get married at the justice of the peace.
Make sure the officiant is one extraneous staff meeting away from taking the whole place down in a blaze of glory. He will also repeatedly yell at you for trying to steal his pen. And you should find some witnesses who are currently at the courthouse to take out a restraining order against a psychotic ex-boyfriend. Makes the whole thing more cheerful.
|The pen bandit strikes again|
6. Have two more kids.
As many as possible, really. Don't want to risk having a good nights sleep or actual money.
|We're comin' for you Duggars!|
7. Live in a series of crappy apartments, then buy a cute house in a town even more podunk than it sounds.
Think "Deliverance." Ok not really. (But yeah.)
|Sadly, there were no banjos|
8. Randomly move across the country
It should preferably be a place you've never been and as far away as possible from the vast majority of your family. Your reasoning should be thus: Just 'cuz.
9. Randomly move back across the country
Again, it is essential that you have as little money as possible.
|This is all we have left in savings|
10. Celebrate tenth anniversary with frozen pizza and the Chianti your mom gave you for Christmas.
It's fancy. Also, Chianti is gross.
11. Be lucky enough to be able to marry your best friend. Someone who makes you laugh, and who you can't imagine not going through all of the shit life is determined to throw at you with. Love each other. But like each other, too.
Yeah... probably just that one.
yeah write and
Finding the Funny